OUT and about

current status: coming out

so i came out to some new friends last week. i knew it was going to come up so i prepared myself mentally and emotionally for the inevitable. there's only so much dodging one can do when questions like 'so what about you? are you seeing anyone?'. my usual response is 'no' and make it clear that i am not interested in discussing it further. i figured, i'm done with dodging. i want to let these friends know. so i told them. she (straight chick) said 'i kinda knew!', he (gay boy) said 'i had no idea'. another friend turned up later (straight boy) who said 'yeah, i knew that because you came in with [dyke friend]. so there, guilty by association. i was already out without knowing it.

the next day, a friend posted a picture on the web taken from a gig i went to. my first reaction was '[faint] - take that photo down now!'. i recovered quickly enough to realise how pathetic that must have sounded. my first thoughts were, i am not even out to everyone and what if they see the photo'. sensible friends basically said that only those who are in the know are likely to check that site anyway. my mom is never going to find out about that site! my thing is, i have been thinking about telling my mom but it's all about timing. i'd rather that she hears it form me first than through some other means. however, i also figured that it's quite symbolic. asking my friend to take the photo down is equivalent to me going right back deep into the closet.

so day one: out to new friends, who knew anyway

and day two: out to the whole city!

the first friend i shared this whole 'i am gay' thing told me 'be ready coz you won't be able to stop this once the ball starts rolling'.

i think this IS what she was talking about.